This is a Midgie, one of nature's perfect foods. We love them because they're so yummy and we could live for weeks eating nothing but. Actually, one time I did live for weeks eating nothing but bean burritos, but the rest of the teachers in the building told me to never, ever do that again. (And now you know how the custodian lost all of his hair!)
These are three of my very best friends. Mr. Podium helps me teach by holding my notes. Mr. Recycling Basket helps use recycle all of those stupid pieces of paper I give you, like notes, tests and quizzes. Mr. Glassbucket helps us hold all of the broken pieces of glass from science tools you either drop accidentally or break into pieces in a frustrated rage. Don't worry about it. I go into frustrated rages all the time. My doctor said it was completely normal. Well, actually he later said it was a big problem. After I attacked him while in a frustrated rage that is.
This is the Puppy-in-a-jar. It's better than a real puppy, because you never have to walk it or clean up after it. And, it can even protect you. Trust me, if you're carrying this thing around with you, no one's going to bother you. (The smell alone will keep them away.)
This is a Power Ranger. We all wish we were as cool as the Blue Ranger. That's why I like to put on my footie pajamas and run around my neighborhood at night, fighting crime. (Actually, most of the time I'm just running from my neighbors, who, for some strange reason, have a problem with me lurking in the bushes at night.)
This is my stapler. He's not my favorite classroom friend, as he's been known to swear at me when no one else is around. I tried to tell him to stop it, but when I did he beat me up pretty badly. It's pretty embarrassing, but not as bad as the time the pencil sharpener gave me a wedgie.
This is the paper towel holder, who we love because he help us wipe the goop off of our hands after a good lab. He used to dance the Macarena as well, but he hasn't done that since I got the gas leak in my classroom fixed. (That's also when the walls stopped being rainbow-colored.)
