Here a some photos from our science class.  I know that there are not many of them now, but hopefully as the year goes on we'll get some more.  That reminds me, if you take a nice picture and you'd like me to add it to this page I'd really appreciate it.  I won't even have to keep the picture, and I'd give you full credit, of course.  Oh, and another thing.  I can't let you take my picture off of this page, blow it up to poster-sized and hang it on your wall.  I'm sorry, I know you want to fill your room with pictures of me so that you can pretend that you're in science class all weekend long, but I own the pictures and I just can't allow that.  Don't worry though, because, as a fund raiser later in the year, I'll be selling life-sized cardboard cut-outs of me.  That's right, you can prop me up in your living room and pretend that I'm yelling at you at home!  Well, anyhoo, here are the photos. 

Here's a good one of our digital projector.  He's without a doubt the most important person in the class.  That's right, he's more important than me, and certainly much more important than you.  Without him shining his glorious light on us, we wouldn't be able to take any notes at all, and we all know that life would be a hollow, miserable thing without science notes. 

Skeleton Boy is another important member of our class.  His bones are made up of kids who lost their science books and a few things that I've found wedged under my car.  He's held together with wires and gum, making him even more fragile than my grandmother.

This is me dancing at the mall during a Columbus Trip a few years back.  It's amazing that I wasn't beaten by the security guards.  After this picture came out my parole officer made my doctors double my medication. 

We're not really sure what this one is.  It's either a huge tomato that someone gave me, or a huge tumor that I had removed from my back.  Frankly, I've forgotten!

Although it looks like it could be a picture of you in 6th grade, it's just a little monkey I found on the Internet somewhere.  It's a little known fact that, if you lick the screen exactly where the monkey is, you can get him to stop sliding.  Remember, you have to lick exactly where the monkey is or it won't work.  In fact, I think the best way to do it is to just lick the entire screen, starting at one side and working your way to the other.  If you're in the library, don't worry about all the other kids that have licked the monitor before you.  I'm sure they sterilize the screen after each kid is done. (After all, look at how clean the rest of the library is!)

Here's a great photo of the ceiling.  If you look closely, you may be able to

see some boogers that kids have flicked on it. (Although most of them were eaten during the terrific "Booger Scraping" lab.)

Here's a shot of a chair, where you sit and learn about the wonderous world of science.  Even though it touches your butt every day, the chair is still in good shape.  (Although it smells bad and it used to be white!)

Here's the clock.  You can look at it if you want to see the time, and it helps me by telling me when to take my medication.  I don't actually take my medication at certain times, but when the clock starts to scream naughty things at me, I know I need more medication!

This is the fridge.  When I have something that I want to keep cool, I place it in this fridge.  You know, body parts last much longer when they're refrigerated .... or so I hear.

About five years ago, I discovered that teaching was much easier if the kids could actually see in class.  I found out that by flicking this doo dad, lights would come on and make it much easier to see.  You'd think that I would have figured this out sooner, but I'm not too good with technology.  I mean, it took me until the age of 17 to realize that the toilet in my house had a knob to flush with!

This is a pencil sharpener.  It not only keeps pencils nice and sharp, if you shove your toes into the holes you can grind down your toenails to a razor-sharp point.  I can't tell you how I discovered this, but let's just say that when you shove your toes into everything you see, eventually you'll find a way to grind down your toenails into a razor-sharp point.

This is called a "sink".  Apparently, after you're done going to the bathroom, you're supposed to use it to wash your hands. (Man, what will they think of next?)  Oh, and your not supposed to go to the bathroom in the sink either.  You see, the drain has a very small grate that gets clogged easily.  When that happens you have to call the janitor to unclog it.  Even though our janitor doesn't look all that tough, he's actually quite strong and good at using a toilet plunger as a weapon.  (Or so I have heard.)

This is a chalk tray.  It's called a chalk tray because it's a tray where you can keep your chalk.  I also have to keep my glass eye collection in this tray because when I went to the principal and asked him to buy me a tray just for glass eyes, he just mumbled something about how hard it is to get a teacher fired these days and left the room.  (Good thing I didn't ask him for a tray to keep my collection of dog poop in.  I guess I'll just have to keep storing that in the big fridge that the cafeteria ladies use for the lunches.)