This is a window. I usually keep the blinds shut because I get distracted really easily if I can see outside. In fact, the computer room I'm working in right now has the windows open. I don't usually...ooooo...look! A bird just flew by! Heeeeee! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
This is Bob, the guy who comes apart. Sometimes, when the lights are off and it's really quite, Bob will sing songs. I love to listen to him, until he starts singing Backstreet Boys songs. Then I pull his head off and lock it in the file cabinet.
These are the human brains that I keep near the sink. Lots of kids ask where I got them. Well, I'd rather not tell you, but let's just say that it's really, really important that you don't lose your science book. Really.
This is the Stefansic Fun Game Bucket. It's really fun when I use it to wack kids in the head. Oh, they laugh so hard, especially when the edge of the bucket cuts their scalp. Then their parent's lawyers call the school, and I have to get a new job, far, far away. What a crazy, crazy bucket!
This is my desk. Once a year, I rent a power washer to clean it. The high-pressure water works really well, but I usually need to use a Brillo Pad to scrape the dead skin off.
This is the Mr. Eyewash. We love him because he helps us get all sorts of things out of our eyes. Frog guts, acid and even blood come right out with Mr. Eyewash. (Except for dead skin. Then, it's best to use a Brillo Pad again.)
This is Mr. Fan. He keeps us nice and cool while we learn about the wonderful world of science. We love him. We'd kiss him, but he might accidentally rip our lips off ... again.
This is Mr. Floor. We love him too, because he lets us walk into science class to learn, and keeps us from falling to our death into the large, spike-filled pit that lies underneath the school. A lot of kids want to know why we need a large, spike-filled pit underneath the school. Well, let's just say that it's bad to scratch Mr. Spisak's car. Really, really bad.
This is Mr. Garbagecan. We love him too, because he holds all of our trash, from dangerous chemicals to hunks of dissected frogs. (That is, he holds them until the cafeteria ladies come and empty him out!)
