Feel bad because you got a comment like "overall lack of effort" or "needs to show improvement" on your progress report? Well, it could be a lot worse! Below you'll find some comments that you'd better hope never show up on anything that the school sends home to your parents. (If none of these make any sense to you then you're too stupid to use this page. Go to the "Photos" page and look at the pretty pictures.)
* Student is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
* Student is a few McNuggets shy of a 20 piece.
* Student must have gotten into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't
watching.* Student has a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
* Student is a prime candidate for natural deselection.
* Student is as bright as Alaska in December.
* One-celled organisms can out score student on IQ tests.
* Student must have donated his body to science before he was done using it.
* Student fell out of the family tree.
* The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
* Student has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
* Student is so dense that light bends around him.
* If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
* If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
* If you gave him a penny for his thoughts you'd get back change.
* If you stand close enough to him you can hear the ocean.
* Student is one neuron short of a synapse.
* Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
* It takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
* The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
* The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
* He must have forgotten to pay his brain bill.
* Her sewing machine is out of thread.
* His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
* His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
* If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
* He's missing a few buttons on his remote control.
* He has less going on upstairs than a one story house.
* He's an experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
* She's dumber than a box of hair.
* Student is a few Fruit Loops shy of a full bowl.
* Student is a few feathers short of a whole duck.
* The cheese slid off his cracker.
* He doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
* She's 24 cents short of a quarter.
