Feel bad because you got a comment like "overall lack of effort" or "needs to show improvement" on your report card? Well, it could be a lot worse! Below you'll find some comments that you'd better hope never show up on anything that the school sends home to your parents.
* Student is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
* Student is a few McNuggets shy of a 20 piece.
* Student must have gotten into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't
watching.* Student has a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
* Student is a prime candidate for natural deselection.
* Student is as bright as Alaska in December.
* One-celled organisms can out score student on IQ tests.
* Student must have donated his body to science before he was done using it.
* Student fell out of the family tree.
* The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
* Student has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
* Student is so dense that light bends around him.
* If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
* If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
* If you gave him a penny for his thoughts you'd get back change.
* If you stand close enough to him you can hear the ocean.
* Student is one neuron short of a synapse.
* Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
* It takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
* The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
* The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
* He must have forgotten to pay his brain bill.
* Her sewing machine is out of thread.
* His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
* His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
* If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
* He's missing a few buttons on his remote control.
* He has less going on upstairs than a one story house.
* He's an experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
* She's dumber than a box of hair.
* Student is a few Fruit Loops shy of a full bowl.
* Student is a few feathers short of a whole duck.
* The cheese slid off his cracker.
* He doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
* She's 24 cents short of a quarter.
